Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
where am i from again
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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