Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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