she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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