My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize