everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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