shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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