I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
