You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
