just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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