Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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