Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
