she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
