what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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