this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
