I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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