Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
