i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
