i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
