Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
