Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
