Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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