life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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