It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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