I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
