I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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