what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
