I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
