9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
