we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
