I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
