i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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