i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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