I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize