remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
