official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
