You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
