now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I touched a dick in church today
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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