How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize