dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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