I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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