Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
