If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize