one two three fourrrrnication!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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