woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
