Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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