so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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