You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sober January is a disaster.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
