btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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