could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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