I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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