Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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