First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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