She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
