The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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