and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
