EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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