You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
