Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
