I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
