last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think my moral compass just broke
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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