Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
