Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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